Kicked the dog and cried: Sunday Doodle

This Sunday Doodle is about five days late.  I was up in Este Park, Co all weekend praising my Lord at a Rez Woman’s Advance.  It was amazing and I learned so much.  Not to mention I made some incredible friends.  Real one that don’t exist in cyber land.  Which was much-needed in my life.  Wouldn’t you know when I get back I start to feel a little under the weather.  My husband is on his way to the airport leaving me with the three boys all week. The dishwasher was still broken and so on.  I would like to bring to your attention there is power in the way you speak.  Did I sit around all week complaining about being, “sick”.  NO  I said to those around me I am OVERCOMING a cold.  There is power in your words.  See I live in the heavenly realms and in heaven there is no illness so the illness has no right in my life.  Try it some time.  This doesn’t mean you won’t ever get sick it just means you won’t be miserable.  See I try to fight the good fight and so can you.  It doesn’t mean hardship will not come.  It just means you don’t have to do it alone.

The irony in all of this is that I came back with the intention of being a happier mom.  Have you ever seen a happy mom with 3boys, overcoming a cold, and broken dishwasher, husband out of town and fall break coming up?  Well it last three days and then I broke.  When my son (the high schooler) started to tell me I was speaking to him wrong I blew it.  Not just a little.  In a big way.  Throwing paperwork in the air and a cuss word flew.  (gassp! who me, yes )   Oh God thank you for your GRACE. WHy? I have no idea, I just did and felt awful afterward.  I went three whole days.  Three whole days fighting the good fight.  Does that mean I give up and don’t try to smile at anything sent my way and laugh in the face of adversity?  NO Way.  So I blew it.  Does that mean I don’t try anymore?  My favorite line from my favorite song How he loves me is: If grace were an ocean we all be sinking.

Yes I have days I yell and then have to tell my kids how much I love them and that I am sorry.  Give them big hugs and start over.  I know this would make some of you gasp at the thought.  I live life passionately.  I guess my passion has a good side and a bad side.  But, God loves me still. Even when I yell or as someone once said, “kicked the dog”.  That makes me gasp.  Funny, I have yet to do that.  It’s all relative right?  My point is that when we set a goal and fail.  Don’t GIVE UP!   Just make the next day better and start anew again.

Oh, that’s right the sunday doodle.  I have two to show you.  I was drawing pictures all weekend and then God told me to give them away.  I have two left to show you.  Here they are:

 

Remember even if you “kicked the dog” there is grace.  Decide right then that you are going to do better next time.  Make this world beautiful by making beautiful choices and not pretending to be perfect.

Love you all

Amanda

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